Satire: Subtle Steps to Spiritual Ruin

This satire, originally from this Twitter thread, provides a window into the shallow arguments and attempts of the enemy to manipulate us to capitulate before the world by encouraging us to compromise the faith under different spurious arguments. We must arm ourselves with the Scripture:

1. It has recently come to our attention that Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego have put forward the argument that any Israelite who bows down to King Nebuchadnezzar’s golden statue has departed the faith and become apostate. 1/15

2. We do not know who appointed these three extremely wealthy and privileged men to stand over everyone else and act as though their personal opinions should be the rule everyone follows, but here are eleven reasons why you can bow down to the statue and still love the LORD. 2/15

3. Bowing down to the golden statue doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to worship the statue in our hearts. We should bow down to communicate solidarity and love to our neighbors instead of judgment and intolerance. 3/15

4.If we do not bow down to the statue, our neighbors will dismiss us as too rigid and will not listen to us share our faith. 4/15

5. Nebuchadnezzar has been set over us by God’s sovereign will. Shouldn’t we obey the LORD’s servant as an expression of our humility before God? 5/15

6. Can we be sure what the phrase, “You shall have no gods before me” means? Arguably, this golden statue is not a god but even if it were, bowing to it would not necessarily mean putting this particular god before the LORD. Why such a narrow interpretation? 6/15

7. Also, that we are to “make no graven images” doesn’t really apply here since we are not the ones who made it. 7/15

8. What about the younger generation? Our Israelite teenagers and young adults are learning new ideas from their Babylonian teachers and friends. If we refuse to bow to the golden statue, we risk losing our young people who will see us as exclusionary and narrow-minded. 8/15

9. When the Messiah comes he’ll gather the nations and the LORD’s house will be a house of prayer for all. Does that necessarily mean that everyone will pray to God by the same Name? This statue may be one of many ways the LORD reveals himself to the nations. 9/15

10.The Law of Moses was written almost 900 years ago. It was only “found” during Josiah’s reign. Are we supposed to believe this is what Moses originally wrote? Shouldn’t we expect it to have been shaped by scribes over the centuries to reflect the needs of their own times? 10/15

11. On that note, the context of our present exile is so radically different than the context of the wilderness and Sinai. We know so much more now about the nations around us and doesn’t it seem that some of what we read in the Law is inconsistent with what we now know? 11/15

12. Why is Moses is given such prominence. He wrote from a position of privilege. We hear nothing from women, slaves or foreigners. The requirement that we not bow to “idols” is embedded in a system that silences the voices of the oppressed. 12/15

13.Our Israelite neighbor who’s very devout, kind, and learned plans to bow down when he hears the music. He’s a wonderful person who loves the Lord but happens to also love other expressions of the divine. How can we say that the LORD would condemn such a good person? 13/15

14. For all of these reasons, after much prayer and seeking the LORD’s will, we encourage you to love your neighbors, respect their beautiful culture, and as an act of holy solidarity bow down to the golden statue that the most excellent Nebuchadnezer has made. 14/15



This satire is also first published here:


These are articles that are sourced or excerpted from faithful authors, including spiritual hymns, biographies, Church history, and so on.

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