When you refuse to elope with the Lover of your soul — Jesus — who extends His invitation daily and not once a year like Valentine’s Day, be assured of this: you may end up eloping with a stranger who only appears to be your soulmate.
If you do not accept Heaven’s invitation, you will not escape the enemy’s invitation—that of the devil will come.
This truth is reflected in the agony of two lives that missed their “divine date” with God. Let us look at the pain that surfaced at the end of their journey.
The Regret of Jacob’s Pilgrimage
At the close of his life, Jacob confessed before Pharaoh:
“The years of my pilgrimage are a hundred and thirty. Few and unpleasant have been the years of my life, and they have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.” — Genesis 47:9
He called his years few and evil (unpleasant). His grandfather Abraham, 175 years, and his father Isaac, 180 years lived longer, but beyond longevity was quality — his grandfather walked in stronger covenant fellowship and his father never experienced as much unpleasant situation compared to him.
Why?
The first 20-30 years of his marriage were marked with unrest — filled with rivalry, jealousy, manipulation, and emotional turmoil (Genesis 29–30). His household was not a place of fellowship but a battlefield of competition — especially stirred by Rachel’s desperation.
Instead of commanding his household after him to know the Lord and walk in the way of the Lord, like his grandfather, Abraham (Genesis 18:19), Jacob only raised religious children — ritual of circumcision. A man cannot give what he does not possess. He had religion — circumcision, encounters, vows, altars — but he did not surrender himself to God.
Eventually, after God gave him a fresh start at Bethel (Genesis 35:1–15), much damage had already been done. His children were already formed in strife and violence.
At the end of his life, when he blessed his sons (Genesis 49), the first three — Reuben, Simeon, and Levi — did not receive commendation but a curse — loss of preeminence.
A house not built on the foundation of Christ will end in crisis—starting with internal then deteriorate to external crisis.
Rachel’s Tragic End
Now consider Rachel. Scripture records:
“And it came to pass, as her soul was departing (for she died), that she called his name Ben-oni…” — Genesis 35:18
Ben-oni means “son of my sorrow” or “son of my pain.” In her final breath, she released a name rooted in sorrow over her child. Though Jacob later renamed him Benjamin (“son of my right hand”), Rachel’s last recorded words reveal a life that ended in anguish.
Earlier she had cried: “Give me children, or else I die.” — Genesis 30:1
That desperation followed her to the grave.
Rachel also secretly clung to her father’s idols (Genesis 31:19). While God was drawing Jacob upward into covenant renewal at Bethel, Rachel did not confess her sin of keeping her father’s idols. She was not repentant. Although the idols in the house of Jacob were put away, her unconfessed sins suggest that her heart was still tied to the idolatrous culture of her father’s house. She did not fully walk in fellowship with the God of her grandfather and great grandparents—Bethuel and Nahor respectively. Instead, she carried remnants of her father Laban’s idolatry.
You cannot enter fully into God’s new covenant while your heart is lusting after the world (idols of materialism).
Her life in Jacob’s house introduced constant heat—rivalry with Leah. The atmosphere of the home was tense and unstable. Her end came on the way to Bethlehem — prematurely compared to the covenant promises surrounding her home. Sorrow marked her final breath.
When a young man or woman misses their appointed season of surrender to God, the consequences may not appear immediately — but they unfold slowly through years of unstable relationship and generational impact.
If you do not first secure vertical fellowship with God, your horizontal relationships may become arenas of frustration.
And what feels like “love at first sight” may later be remembered as “lost at first sight.”
How Did They Get Here?
How did a man who encountered God at Bethel end up describing his life as “few and unpleasant”? How did a woman so desired end her days naming her son “the son of my sorrow”?
Some mistakes are not momentary — they echo for decades. Their scars outlive the excitement that produced them.
The root of their regret can be traced to one critical moment: a missed divine appointment.
The Refusal at Bethel
It began with Jacob at Bethel (Genesis 28). God revealed Himself to him through the vision of a ladder reaching to heaven — a picture later fulfilled in Christ, the mediator between God in heaven and men on earth:
“You shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.” — John 1:51
God was inviting Jacob into vertical fellowship first — communion before intimate companionship, spiritual altar before the wedding altar, surrender before settlement. But Jacob did not fully yield. Instead of absolute surrender, he negotiated:
“If God will be with me… and give me bread to eat and clothing to put on… then shall the LORD be my God.” — Genesis 28:20–21
He placed conditions on God’s covenant for his life. He postponed full surrender.
When a person postpones their day of visitation with God, they do not postpone other visitations.
Consider how Jesus wept over the Jewish people when they rejected God’s date with them — the day of God’s visitation upon them:
“Now as He (Jesus) drew near, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, ‘If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment around you, surround you and close you in on every side, and level you, and your children within you, to the ground; and they will not leave in you one stone upon another, because you did not know the time of your visitation.’” — Luke 19:41–44
If you miss Heaven’s invitation, you will not miss your enemies’ visitation.
His Journey — But Not God’s Journey
Jacob left Bethel and went toward Syria. God had appeared to him — but God had not yet sent him into marriage. He was meant to engage his vertical alignment with God before preceding his horizontal attachment. Instead, he moved ahead and tested God with his life. When he arrived at the well near Haran (Genesis 29), something significant that appeared as destiny happened. There, another “date” “val” met with him at the entrance of the city — Rachel. It looked like “love at first sight.” But spiritually, it was “lost at first sight.”
“There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” — Proverbs 14:12
A Contrast: Abraham’s Servant at the Well
Consider the contrast. When Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac (Genesis 24), the servant did not rely on emotion. He prayed:
“O LORD God of my master Abraham… prosper my journey.” — Genesis 24:12
God led him clearly to Rebekah among many women that visited the well. He came with gifts — gold, bracelets, provision — prepared in advance for the right person ordained by God. That was a divinely sponsored journey.
But Jacob’s journey was different. He only made the Lord his God at Bethel for material things (food and clothes) but not kingdom matters.
There was encounter but not surrender. There was revelation, but not consecration.
He arrived at the well empty-handed — no gold, no camels, no visible covenant provision — because when God sponsors a journey, He provides for it. When you go ahead of Him, you finance it yourself and it will cost you severely.
The Costly “Val” Gift
Abraham’s servant brought material gifts. Jacob brought himself. He had no prepared offering — so he offered unconsciously twenty unplanned years of labor for vanity not for God’s kingdom. His youth became the “Valentine’s gift.” His strength became the dowry. His time became payment.
“Thus, I have been in your house twenty years… and you have changed my wages ten times.” — Genesis 31:41
He also sealed the encounter with emotion:
“And Jacob kissed Rachel…”— Genesis 29:11
What began with a kiss ended with two decades of entanglement. When lust grips a young person, he or she does not mind expending destiny to secure lustful desire. They do not calculate long-term consequences; they respond to immediate gratification.
But every pursuit outside divine timing eventually reveals emptiness. Jacob spent twenty years in Haran, largely for Rachel and for wages. Laban pursued him when he fled, and only God’s intervention prevented harm. Even then, Rachel died on the journey home, before Jacob could fully settle her with his family.
“There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” — Proverbs 14:12
Blind at First Sight
When Jacob arrived at the well (Genesis 29), he understood something: he had no tangible gift like Abraham’s servant had brought for Rebekah (Genesis 24:22–53). But he had strength. And so, he offered his body as service. The shepherds were waiting for others before rolling away the heavy stone covering the well (Genesis 29:8). It required cooperation. Yet Jacob a stranger, energized by attraction, rolled it away single-handedly (Genesis 29:10). He did not first assist the gathered shepherds. But for Rachel, he exerted extraordinary effort. He watered her father’s flock. He kissed her (Genesis 29:11).
Strength energized by infatuation can look heroic — but it is often reckless.
He was willing to exert extraordinary effort for a woman he had just met, yet there is no record of him exerting that same urgency in prayer at Bethel. That stone must have been heavy. Yet he was willing to expend youthful strength to secure what he perceived as destiny. He did not realize he was stepping into twenty years of futile labor.
When lust drives a person, they will exhaust energy, time, and purpose just to impress.
“Flee youthful lusts…” — 2 Timothy 2:22
“The lust of the flesh… passes away.” — 1 John 2:16–17
He thought he had found destiny but in reality, he had stepped into the enemy’s hand.
If your vertical fellowship with God is not absolute surrender but conditional, horizontal relationships with others will be costly and what appears to be romance may become regret.
A Word to Daughters: Guard Your Heart and Your Exposure
Now consider Rachel. Scripture simply says she was a shepherdess (Genesis 29:9). We read from scriptures of how some shepherdess were harassed by shepherd by the well or where shepherd feeds. Compare this with the daughters of Jethro, who went together to water their father’s flock and even faced harassment from shepherds (Exodus 2:16–17). Probably Rachael had an ulterior motive when she decided to be a lone shepherd — to hook up with guys — unlike Jethro’s daughters that go to the well in teams to avoid harassment.
Why do you run that errands for your parents. Is your motive pure?
The lesson is not about forbidding responsibility of our parents— it is about guarding motives and exposure.
Daughters do not create unnecessary vulnerability under the guise of duty. Do not invent errands to run for your parents when the heart is secretly seeking attention — or planning to “stop by” a young man’s place. God weighs not only actions, but intentions.
“All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord “Proverbs 16:2 (NIV)
A lady with a wandering heart often meets a wandering guy. A froward (deceitful or self-willed) heart often attracts froward circumstances. What you tolerate inwardly, you may encounter outwardly.
“With the pure You (God) will show Yourself pure; and with the froward You (God) will show Yourself froward.” — Psalm 18:26
Eventually, two unguarded hearts — Jacob and Rachel — collided. Attraction met immaturity.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” — Proverbs 31:30
The word of God instructs younger women to learn from older, godly women:
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste…” — Titus 2:4–5
There is dignity in development. There is beauty in preparation. Do not parade yourself to be noticed. Become rooted in God’s word and learn from godly elderly women so that when you are found, you are ready.
A woman does not increase her value by increasing her visibility. She increases her value by cultivating spiritual depth.
Consider the Precious Jewel Principle:
Pearl is not discovered lying openly on the roadside. It is formed in hiddenness. It is protected. It is costly because it is rare. Likewise, a godly woman understands covering, counsel, and cultivation. She allows time, maturity, and spiritual growth to shape her.
“Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart. Guard your steps. Guard your exposure.
Two Dates at the Well
Then there is Laban. When Abraham’s servant arrived with gifts, Laban ran to meet him (Genesis 24:29–31). He recognized visible blessing upon the servants and his master, Abraham, they were bearing the yoke of God. The servant of Abraham did not arrive empty. He came with camels, gifts, order, and testimony of God’s faithfulness. He openly declared how the LORD had prospered his master and guided his journey step by step (Genesis 24). When Laban saw the gold and heard the testimony of divine direction, he immediately responded:
“Come in, O blessed of the LORD.” — Genesis 24:31
The servant could clearly attest that God was the pioneer of his journey. He spoke of divine leading, divine favor, divine increase. Laban understood something: the hand of God was upon this house. And notably — there is no record of Laban deceiving Abraham’s servant.
Why?
The visible hand and blessing of God on Abraham, for raising Isaac and his household after him in the way of the Lord was visible, thus opportunistic backs down
Unfortunately for Jacob Laban discerned opportunity. Years later, when Jacob arrived with only a staff (Genesis 32:10), Laban saw something else — No visible wealth. No public testimony of God. No outward sign of establishment. Yes, Jacob had encountered God at Bethel (Genesis 28), but he refused to bear God’s yoke in his youth. Since he was not bearing the yoke of God, Laban saw vulnerability and he adjusted: Instead of honor, there was negotiation, a contract that will subject him to a heavy yoke to exploit Jacob’s productivity and make him forget ever returning home. Laban placed his yoke upon Jacob — fourteen years for daughters, six more for livestock (Genesis 31:41). He changed his wages ten times (Genesis 31:7). Jacob himself and Laban’s daughters later testified respectively:
“You have changed my wages ten times.” — Genesis 31:7
“Has he not sold us, and completely consumed our money?” — Genesis 31:15
Jacob, who had once resisted the yoke of straightforward obedience in his father’s house and with God through divine interruption on his journey to destruction now bore a heavy one in a foreign land.
A man who lacks clarity of divine direction often becomes susceptible to manipulation.
Laban kept him busy — marriages, flocks, wages, negotiations. Busyness replaced destiny. Distraction delayed return. Jacob bore Laban’s destructive yoke for twenty years — until God intervened:
“Return to the land of your fathers… and I will be with you.” — Genesis 31:3
When God calls you out of Haran, it is mercy. If you do not willingly take up Christ’s yoke, the devil will often place a heavier one upon you.
Take up the yoke of godly discipline while you are young, for it is better to bear the yoke in youth than to learn obedience through affliction later ( Lamentations 3:27).
Jesus later said: “Take My yoke upon you… For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”— Matthew 11:29–30
The Final Call: Make Jesus Your “Val”
If you secure your divine date with God, He becomes sufficient as your ultimate gift of love. When vertical fellowship is strong, horizontal relationships become ordered.
When surrender is absolute, manipulation loses power. Do not exchange God’s call for the chemistry of a guy or a lady.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” — Matthew 6:33
“Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart.” — Hebrews 3:15
Have you missed your divine appointment? Have you postponed surrender?Return now!!! Repent now!!!
Make Jesus your true “Val” — not seasonally, but daily. So that at the end of your pilgrimage, you will not say, “Few and unpleasant have been my years,” but rather: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”— Psalm 23:6
